


(We Can) Start Moving Forward

by cheese



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 49-51 spoilers, Future Fic, M/M, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 01:46:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheese/pseuds/cheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin feels uneasy without a clear direction, but maybe he doesn't need one anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(We Can) Start Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

> These two have been eating my heart and brain with endless AU ideas, so I thought I'd get my toes wet with a bit of emo, hopeful future!fic because I just want them to have a happy ending.
> 
> Title from "Lost in My Mind" by The Head and the Heart.

"So, what now, Commander?" Levi stepped up next to Erwin, startling him, still too quiet on his feet. Erwin's entire body tensed at the title; Levi never used to use it when it counted anyway.

"Levi, I told you –" 

"Relax, old man, I know. But that doesn't answer my question." Erwin looked away from the landscape before him, sun setting over the horizon, flocks of birds sweeping across, away. He looked down at Levi, the top of his head where he could start to see tiny flecks of gray at the roots, though Levi was still too young for it. It was a result of the stressful life they led. 

When Levi finally looked up, eyes meeting Erwin's, without a hint of derision or one of his insubordinate smirks on his face, just all honesty (still guarded, still on edge), Erwin relaxed. He tried to form the words, but couldn't, just like he couldn't clench his right fist anymore, though he still sometimes thought he was doing it (a nervous habit). 

But this wasn't a tactical meeting, there weren't thousands of lives at stake, hundreds of eyes looking at him, waiting, expecting. It was just Levi. (Somewhere not deep down enough, Erwin knew that was even worse.)

"I don't know," he finally said, looking away from Levi's expectant face, still, even after everything.

He wasn't ready for the touch when it came, sure, quick, a firm grasp around his hand, nor the way Levi stepped closer after, leaning against Erwin's left side. 

It was more than either of them had let anyone know about them through all their years together. They often avoided looking at each other completely, to keep it a secret, to keep them safe from scrutiny and all the bureaucrats from having a reason to disband and end the Survey Corps, to end them both. 

Not because they were both men, since the sheer hypocrisy of that would ruin Sina on its own, but because they were soldiers, high-rank officers, set to lead by example, to dedicate their lives to the cause, to Humanity, and not to each other.

Erwin swept his thumb along the back of Levi's hand, skin softer than he ever recalled, no longer strained by the Underground or gruelling training or horrible conditions day after day. 

It felt like they'd been standing there too long, like someone would be by any minute to patrol the wall, to salute them and expect bad news, expect orders, expect _something_. But it was still just them. The patrols took place once an hour now, only a handful of soldiers still dedicated to it, but it was different.

 _Everything_ was different.

Erwin looked out at the bright orange sun nearly hidden behind the horizon now, and the the pink-blue-purple of the endless sky all around them, and for the first time, the vastness didn't feel crippling. It felt liberating. 

It definitely felt like they'd been standing there too long now, though, and Erwin wanted to break the silence, to have a better reply to Levi. "Levi," he started, pulling Levi's hand up to his chest, holding it closely, wondering if Levi could feel the way it hammered with endless possibilities.

It must have been a true testament to the change, and the lack of fight they had to put up when Levi stepped in front of him and faced him, hands still entwined, and said, "You'll figure it out," with utmost trust, the same kind he'd put in Erwin's decisions all along, that led them to their victory (though Erwin hated to call it that), to the fractured sense of peace. 

Erwin couldn't stand to face Levi's trust, not yet, so he closed his eyes and brought their entwined hands to his mouth, placing a kiss to the back of Levi's hand that he hoped conveyed everything he wasn't ready to quite yet.

Levi stepped closer and lifted his other hand up to Erwin's face, thumb stroking along his jawline, so Erwin turned to kiss his palm – once, twice – until Levi scoffed and moved his hand further up, into Erwin's hair. Erwin let their other hands drop to their sides, still clasped firmly together.

Levi's small fingers threaded through Erwin's hair gently, pushing it back, off his forehead. Erwin leaned into the touch, allowing himself, starved for it, for everything Levi could give him (and would; they were allowed now). 

"You need a haircut." Levi said, hand dropping from Erwin's hair to wrap around his torso, Levi pressed against him, still too stiffly. 

But they had time now, to figure things out, to forge new lives. Levi was right, a haircut was a great place to start.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me at [santaerwin](http://santaerwin.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


End file.
